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It's cruel to be kind

When you get on an airplane, they instruct you to help yourself first in the event of a crash. With all the self care talk in recent years, there's a group of folks that need to be reminded of this.


"You are of no help to others if you have not helped yourself first!"


Let's repeat that, "you are of no help to others if you have not helped yourself first!". Self care seems to be in of dire need for many, more than ever before... I'm not gonna lie, I most certainly day dream of a simple life of the past. One that lacks social media and pandemics...



And when it comes to who needs it the most, I believe self care is like therapy that way. Those who need the help and support the most, aren't seeking it... or don't have access.


So, what are you doing to fill your cup so that you have the capacity to help fill others cups? Lately, I've been thinking about this a lot. Noticing more and more clients , colleagues and friends are beyond burnt out! Just completely taxed!


I've even noticed for myself, a simple bath or quiet walk doesn't seem to be quite enough anymore. Living in constant fight mode for a few years, even a week off doesn't seem to do it. And I'd say it's understandable... though we still need a solution.


The last couple thoughts can definitely leave one feeling hopeless. And, it is not easy coming back from this level of trauma. Though reminding ourselves that as humans, we have been through and come out of constant fight modes many a times before in history. We prevail and continue to rise again!


It's not an easy thing to seek help and support or to simply take steps to do so for ourselves... if it was, this wouldn't be a topic of discussion! We wouldn't have a whole generation celebrating self care!


How though? I'll tell you, one habit at a time. One foot in front of the other. And a good motto or affirmation to remind yourself of what you are working towards.


First, know how powerful your mind is. If you tell it that you believe something to be true, your mind will also start to agree with you. Find an affirmation to repeat to yourself everyday. Bonus points, add a daily notification to repeat this affirmation. *repeat at least 3 times in a row


My current affirmation is: "I am open to receiving love and abundance"

*I like this one because I remembered recently that when I am stressed I think I am the only one who can help solve my problems... is not true. And I ended up putting up walls to protect myself.



Next, have boundaries, be mindful of your needs and be vulnerable in your asks. This one can be so difficult, so just start with one, maybe it's turning notifications off at a certain time or all together. Maybe it's asking for help doing a task or for alone time, away from your partner(s) or little ones.

For me, I ask my partner for more hugs... coz they lift me so much!


Agree that you will say NO to any new obligations, or even change your mind on some that you've already agreed too!


A bonus act of self care, if you can do it, try to have a day or a few days alone, without technology. No working, no checking, just your thoughts and quietness. You can read or do simple tasks... just nothing that distracts your attention so much so that you aren't able to hear yourself think.


Lastly, another fulfilling thing you can do is to try a new hobby. Whether it's a scheduled class (might help to get you there) or something you do in your own time (I highly recommend setting up time in your schedule to dedicate to this... or you will likely never make the time).



For all those beauties out there, setting your needs aside to take care of EVERYONE else... this is your sign! Start to take care of you first, fill your cup. Let's face it, it's not like you don't already know, you simply aren't any good for any one if you aren't taking care of your needs first!


Make time for you today!

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